Friday, June 02, 2006

Ding Dong!

So it looks like Allure magazine isn't the only one going the wedding promo way. One of my favorite makeup forums has just added a wedding planning board and I'm not sure why but I'm not exactly happy about it. Maybe because it feels like we're taking more timewarps into the 1950s and I fear the true motive behind the trend, perhaps for a new baby boom so we could send more boys out to war. I also don't think promoting weddings to young women without there being more promotion of higher education and basic economics is a good idea. Princes come and go, or don't show up, or are frauds after all. Oh, well. I feel like I'm trying to ride the wave and fighting the powers at the same time and I'm getting tired.

I'm not anti-marriage. I'm just aware that in most cohabitation scenarios between a man and a woman, the woman gets the shorter end of the stick if the guy happens to be--oh, not such a nice a guy after all. I've never been in an abusive relationship (and I've thankfully gotten out of the ones that I felt could have gone that route--a wise being once told me to listen to the words that people use--they are clues--it's easy to forget when your body (attraction--chemistry, etc.--it's important to us) says otherwise) but I'm around it more than I want, and I know now that it's more complicated than it seems and that it's harder to get out of once you're in it. So, for the people who'll call the victims names and say they're stupid for getting into a dangerous situation from the get-go, consider this: Most women instinctively withdraw when we're feeling under attack which is why it makes it easier to be targeted. Oh, and FEAR (of consequences of leaving--e.g., getting themselves and/or their children killed)--this makes it harder to leave than anything! We're told we should be trusting so we are till the living end. So, please consider taking your ignorant criticism that women are dumb to do something to help empower us so that we don't have to continue to be victimized and ridiculed by people who won't take the time to understand but are quick to judge. Have you *been* to a domestic violence shelter (I've played there, too!)? It's not OUR fault!!!

Where was I? Weddings. If you're planning one with the man of your dreams, I'm happy for you and best wishes from Pink Manhattan. It's time for my afternoon tea.